Social Standards and Dreams

Good Morning Bloggers, 

With the season of spring drawing upon us, Easter becoming closer by the day and Exam season just round the corner you have to excuse the lateness of this post. I know some of you think that all I do is blog, which was originally true, however now I have complications and assignments in my life which is always a depressing concept. However depressing concept or not they have to be written.
My dreams? 
I wanted to be a writer, hence the late rush to own a blog. I adored English and just simply hated my English teacher. I always believed and still do that my life was interesting enough to be written about, with all the high school complexes, the eating disorder, the anxiety attacks, the ability to fall in and out of love so quickly ... I'm a gossip girls dream. I spend my life fighting between the demons of what I want to do and what my parents expect me to do and I really want to be a writer but apparently business is my calling according to well anyone that knows me. I'm a team leader apparently. I thought this was just code name for bossy but I do have this ability to manipulate anyone and make them do what I want, I pick groups of friends that are nothing like me so that I either feel like a team leader or an outsider, risky business friend picking and not something that I would advise, you should probably actually want to be friends with your friends which most days I don't. Let me explain;

• University I have a social group of about 8 people. 4 housemates and 4 people that I do my course with
• In university there are about 2 additional people outside that social circle that I would include as my actual friends
• There are a plethora of irrelevant people that I speak to because I need to feel needed sometimes 
• There are a few people I dislike
• There are a few psycho's that I hate
• There are people that I just have never heard of

I pick the people that are not necessarily loyal to me because I have loyal friends that live half an hour away from me in my hometown I didn't come to university to make my life long friends, if that happened then that happened but it wasn't something that I was going to go out of my way to become. I refused to change when I went to university, I was not going to reinvent myself as other people seemed to have done. I was still the slightly orange, drinking champagne, problematic white girl that left high school with the same amount of issues that she had when she left. I became more open about my eating disorder forcing people to either accept or judge me, some people told me to JUST EAT - eugh irrelevant and some people told me that they didn't understand how I could do it! Please easily!

However, when I came to university I did not expect to fall in love. Like at all. I don't do love I do brief crushes and if they show an interest back I run away ... seriously run away but I'm staying at the moment. He's not into me and we are just friends but who knows I'm a problematic white girl who will over analyse everything in her head but maybe some of those analytically incorrect things will be the reason that we end up together.

Hope you have a brilliant day

Lots of Love

Spoilt Brunette 

xoxo